It’s hard to heal from trauma if you're still being abused.
Yet, that is the state we find ourselves in.
Our money is being debased
Relational tension is being intentionally stoked
It’s hard to tell what’s a distraction and what’s worth paying attention to
And that’s the short list of what we’re up against.
So, how do we stay emotionally centered amidst a globalist agenda that is comprehensive in scope, sinister in its intentions, and based on constant deception?
Let’s step back…
For the first time since 9-11, we can all relate to a collective traumatic event. In past writings, I have referred to it as covid PTSD, and I can’t think of a better term to help us see that we have ALL been affected to some degree.
What I find most interesting is what this situation has forced us to face.
I regularly hear it in conversations with clients and friends who confess they’re finding it difficult to experience joy and break the cycle of anxiety being driven by world events.
In many ways, much of what has surfaced has always been there, but the past few years have worn our resilience thin, and where we had previously “soldiered on,” our ability to stuff it, fake it, or put on a happy face isn’t “working” like it used to.
If any of the above describes something you feel, this post is for you.
SEE IF YOU CAN RELATE TO THIS
Of late, have you noticed:
Old, bad habits are popping up more frequently?
Motivation fluctuations seem more regular and dramatic?
Emotional outbursts and feelings of despair are occurring with more intensity?
Such examples are an indicator of at least some ongoing, low-level trauma, if not something deeper.
As a health coach for over 18 years, one thing I can say is that there has been something markedly different about coaching people through the emotionally-unnerving covid era.
The last few years have shown a magnifying glass on the fragility of our day-to-day systems, our relational ineptitudes, and our personal coping mechanisms, and I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing.
If there’s some good news in all this upheaval it is that heightened awareness of emotional instability can offer a feast of insights if we choose to do the (sometimes uncomfortable) work of exploring why we react the way we do.
If I could point you toward ONE skill to steady yourself against the ongoing headwinds of The Great Reset agenda, it's your storytelling ability.
So…
HOW GOOD OF A STORYTELLER ARE YOU?
If there is one thing I've done the most as a coach over the last three years, it’s replaying back to people the story they just told.
It can be arresting/instructive to have someone say, “Wait, did you hear what you just said?” or “What I think I heard you say is…”
What I'm pointing out when I do that is that there is a story that might not be accurate.
Here's the important point: In the absence of clarity, storytelling kicks into overdrive.
In other words, amidst ambiguity, we have to tell ourselves stories to make sense of our world to bring some level of justification to our actions.
Because we don’t know everything (other peoples’ real motives, or what dangers might be present) a large portion of our stories are filled with best guesses or assumptions.
And that is where things get tricky.
Have you uttered any phrases like this recently?
They are being so…
My kids just don’t care at all about…
My boss doesn’t notice anything I…
My spouse probably doesn’t…
"They" are probably lying to us, and you can't trust them...
People are all so gullible/ignorant
Guilty?
Take eight billion people, telling themselves various truths and falsehoods about reality, throw them into the intensely-disruptive, emotionally-charged, high-stakes blender of world events, and it’s not surprising we’re all a bit on-edge these days.
It’s important to point out that the stories we are telling are not always fair, complete, or true.
That we do this all day long may not be surprising, but what is subtle and harder to see is that we are not just making up stories about other people, we're also making up stories about ourselves.
Those latter stories are identity stories, many of which are wired into our neurological pathways at very young ages.
Here are some examples:
I always/never thought of myself as a…
People will disappoint me if I…
I don’t really need anyone…
I have never been good at…
I can’t because…
Such stories are the lenses we wear that color our outlook.
It's most likely these stories about ourselves were created at some point from a deep need to protect us from fear, abuse, or an unpredictable environment, and this is where this work to understand gets personal and, of necessity, deeper.
HOW COVID-PTSD HAS AMPLIFIED THIS
Here’s the critical point for this article:
The way we have individually and collectively responded to current events, reflects the sturdiness (or flimsiness) of our internal landscape.
Zoom out with me for a second and realize that how we’ve responded to the last three years reflects:
Our view of ourselves
Our view of the world
Our view of our own significance, or lack thereof
The depths of our ache to belong (and thus who we will follow/listen to)
The reserves we have to draw upon to keep us grounded, hopeful, and productive
Can you see how all five of those are tied into the stories we tell ourselves about what’s true?
LET’S MAKE THIS RELATABLE…
Through exploring my clients’ past efforts to get well, inevitably what comes to the surface is their reasonable, and often not-so-reason-able (read illogical) stories.
They tell me their perspective on what happened as if they are simply stating facts, i.e. they failed to recognize they stepped away from describing what happened and wandered into telling me what that event meant.
In the process of my challenging a given story's assigned meaning, several of my clients have unearthed long-standing traumas and dramas that betray a deeply-felt sense of their own inadequacy or unworthiness.
Those feelings were backed up (in their somewhat reason-able minds) by a long list of stories that demonstrates the felt “truth” of those stories.
Yet, in the light of loving analysis, their interpretations were agreeably found to be untrue...and that changes everything.
Thank you covid for bringing that to the surface!
WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS?
I’m highlighting the importance of storytelling because if we can’t accurately process the reality, grief, loss, disappointment, or ongoing, complex trauma, we’re going to become MORE traumatized.
We can’t numb ourselves out to get through this.
If we don’t learn how to tell ourselves better stories, we’re going to feel trapped by overwhelming or defeating thoughts like:
What's the point?
What difference does it make?
I don’t matter that much anyway.
My friends, it is absolutely time to replace those stories with truer narratives, and nurture the new stories until they actually FEEL true--more on that in Part Two.
To be fair, this can be hard work.
Moreover, it is not work you can do all by yourself.
Yet, it is important work, and THAT is the invitation of this current collective moment--it's how we rise above the agenda being foisted upon us.
Think about it--if we reclaim the power of our stories and emotions, what power do they really have over us--if they can't make us fearful or keep us divided, they lose.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HEAL OUR COVID PTSD?
Healing your recent trauma does NOT mean we pretend sad or unnerving events didn’t happen, or aren't still happening.
It also does not mean we pretend evil isn’t real or that hurts don’t hurt.
Healing begins by unpacking two things:
The situations that happened
The story we tell ourselves about what happened
Can you see the important difference?
I will be spending Part Two of this series unpacking this more fully, so stay tuned.
For now, want to make it abundantly clear that we all can use some better storytelling skills and it first requires that we recognize that storytelling is something we do ALL THE TIME!
Becoming more emotionally resilient through tough times requires malleability (an openness to new perspective) in our storytelling.
Why is that important?
To stay sane, loving, hopeful, and motivated, we have to constantly look for better stories--higher perspective where things DO make sense, where redemption IS possible, and where inadequacy, unworthiness, and divisiveness can't win the day.
For that to be possible we have to:
Show up with soft hearts willing to be vulnerable--more on this in Part Two
Embrace humility and accept invitations to learn and grow
Bring a determination to look for our God-given purpose
That, my friends, is something we can do.
ONE WAY I CAN HELP
This spring, Nina and I decided to take our best lessons on hope and emotional healing from the last three years (plus those unearthed in creating The Sovereignty Project) and turn them into a new program we are calling the Emotional Healing Intensive.
The program is a six-week deep dive into understanding our core stories, reframing false narratives, making peace with our past, healing our relationships, and rediscovering purpose.
The program will wrap up with our first-ever TRUE Whole Human, Healing Retreat, a four-day three-night getaway located on the beautiful beaches of the Emerald Coast in the Florida panhandle.
The retreat alone will include six breakthrough coaching sessions, chef-prepared meals, massage, and more…
If you’re interested in joining us, you can find all the details here.
Regardless, of whether you can join us for the Intensive, I hope you found the above helpful.
Be on the lookout for Part Two of this series soon.
In the meantime, ponder the questions, "Where may I be telling myself an unhealthy story, and what believably better story could I tell instead?"
Until next time,
Christian
PS. While the Emotional Healing Intensive is open to everyone, we have a very limited capacity for the in-person, beach retreat. If you’re interested, register soon!
PPS. If you could use a coach to help you navigate our crazy times, reach out.
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